Depression and Relationships

When you suffer from depression, many aspects of your life suffer. You may be tired all the time, you can’t sleep, you can’t function. Another thing that happens is that you view the world around you in a far more negative way. If you are in a relationship you might see doom and gloom when, in fact, your relationship is actually loving and healthy.

I suffered an incredibly dysfunctional childhood and my parents had a very dysfunctional relationship. We were quite isolated which meant that I did not witness any healthy relationships as I was growing up. My idea of a healthy relationship were the kinds you see on films and TV: the Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan variety. I met my husband: an incredibly kind and decent man. However, because of my upbringing I saw terrible flaws in my marriage when they didn’t actually exist. Every argument or disagreement had me thinking about heading to the divorce courts.

It was only after therapy that I realised that this was the case. My husband is allowed to disagree with me and we are allowed to have conflict, as long as we work out how to come to a healthy resolution. Relationships involve hard work and sacrifice, I realise that now.

If someone is unhappy in their relationship they need to ask themselves why. Is it due to the relationship? Are you and your partner friends and are you compatible? If you’re not, then by all means say goodbye to each other. However, when you realise that you have a mental illness ask yourself whether the thoughts that you are experiencing are the actual reality and whether your relationship is actually worth saving.

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