Love and Envy

Envy is a dangerous emotion. When you envy someone you want what they have got: their job, their success, their partner. You are jealous. The problem is that when you are envying someone you are paying them a huge compliment. However, you are damaging your own self esteem and hurting yourself in the process. You are saying. I’m not good enough. I hate myself. I want what they have. What is wrong with me? Why couldn’t I get all that? If I had all that, then I’d be happy.

If this ever happens to you, remember three things. Firstly, even if you had all that, you’d still be unhappy. Happiness comes from within you. It doesn’t come from external factors. Until you change your outlook and the way you perceive yourself, you won’t be happy. Secondly, how do you know the person you envy is truly happy? In the words of Truman Burbank, ‘you don’t have a camera inside their head’. How do you know they don’t have their own problems? They could be in debt up to their eyeballs, trapped in a loveless marriage, in a job they hate. You simply don’t know. Thirdly, there are probably countless people you know who envy you, your beauty, intelligence, sense of humour, remarkable wisdom. The list of your attributes goes on…

If you experience envy, wish the person you envy well. Then write a list of all the positives in your life, everything you have achieved and everything you are grateful for. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are a beautiful and talented human being. This planet is all the more richer with you on it. Never forget that.

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