I Have a Problem – I Love Too Much

I have a problem. I am too soft-hearted and I love too much. This would be fine if everyone else loved too much too (if there is such a thing as too much)! However, this isn’t always the case. You’ll meet people who aren’t as big-hearted as you, possibly not as kind as you, possibly suspicious of your motives. And unfortunately there is a high likelihood that you’ll end up getting hurt, because not everyone will like you as much as you like them, and they certainly won’t love you as much as you love them.

When I was a little girl, my teachers said that I was shy and withdrawn. As I’ve got older, I’ve become a rather good actress and come across as confident. However, when you try to become friends with people and those people, albeit intentionally or inadvertently, hurt you, the little, insecure child in you does come out. And when you experience rejection, whether it is from friends or family or someone you love, you also experience that pain. You become shy and withdrawn. You may become tearful or depressed. You want to retreat from the world. You become that little girl again.

So what do you do? You have two choices. You become hard and bitter. Or you choose the second option. You continue to love with all your heart. You wish the people who have hurt you well. You love them just as much as you did before. Even if they don’t even know you exist, even if they have no respect for you, even if they think you are mad, nutty or insane. Even if they don’t want to know you.

You do this because the purest form of love is when you give without expecting anything in return. And sure it means you will experience pain, and heartache, but we are all willing to die a little, if it gives us even the smallest chance to be loved. Because the alternative, which is to live a life fearful of true love, is just too awful to contemplate.

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